E-Mail Worth Repeating

Every so often I get a good non offensive e-mail, and I will publish (as time permits}some of them here - without names. Newest postings at the top. Feel free to send in what you think are good.   editor@woodsnews.com


Obama Classmates?

Paraprosedokians

Shave and Haircut

Made in America

Family Math Lesson

Factoids

Free Stuff

O.M.G, and President's Day

Blame Bush

Political Flowchart

Do Your Part to Help the Deficit

Is this the truth as you see it?
The liberal media isn't quite as blatant, however...

Lee Iococca says Enough!


From: Chuck Yeager

Fri, July 10, 2009 1:02 PM

Memorial Service: you're invited.

We're hearing a lot today about big splashy memorial services. I want a nationwide memorial service for Darrell "Shifty" Powers. Shifty volunteered for the airborne in WWII and served with Easy Company of the 506th Parachute Infantry Regiment, part of the 101st Airborne Infantry. If you've seen Band of Brothers on HBO or the History Channel, you know Shifty. His character appears in all 10 Episodes, and Shifty himself is interviewed in several of them.

I met Shifty in the Philadelphia airport several years ago. I didn't Know who he was at the time. I just saw an elderly gentleman having Trouble reading his ticket. I offered to help, assured him that he was At the right gate, and noticed the "Screaming Eagle," the symbol of The 101st Airborne, on his hat.

Making conversation, I asked him if he'd been in the 101st Airborne Or if his son was serving. He said quietly that he had been in the 101st. I thanked him for his service, then asked him when he served, And how many jumps he made.

Quietly and humbly, he said "Well, I guess I signed up in 1941 or so, And was in until sometime in 1945 .. . . " at which point my heart Skipped.

At that point, again, very humbly, he said "I made the 5 training Jumps at Toccoa, and then jumped into Normandy . . . . Do you know Where Normandy is?" At this point my heart stopped.

I told him "yes, I know exactly where Normandy is, and I know what D-Day was." At that point he said "I also made a second jump into Holland , into Arnhem ." I was standing with a genuine war hero . . . . And then I realized that it was June, just after the anniversary of D-Day..

I asked Shifty if he was on his way back from France , and he said "Yes. And it's real sad because, these days, so few of the guys are Left, and those that are, lots of them can't make the trip." My heart Was in my throat and I didn't know what to say.

I helped Shifty get onto the plane and then realized he was back in Coach while I was in First Class. I sent the flight attendant back to Get him and said that I wanted to switch seats. When Shifty came Forward, I got up out of the seat and told him I wanted him to have It, that I'd take his in coach.

He said "No, son, you enjoy that seat. Just knowing that there are Still some who remember what we did and who still care is enough to Make an old man very happy." His eyes were filling up as he said it. And mine are brimming up now as I write this.

Shifty died on June 17 after fighting cancer.

There was no parade.
No big event in Staples Center .
No wall to wall back to back 24x7 news coverage.
No weeping fans on television.
And that's not right.

Let's give Shifty his own Memorial Service, online, in our own quiet Way. Please forward this email to everyone you know. Especially to the Veterans.

Rest in peace, Shifty.

Chuck Yeager, MajGen. [ret.]


Bob, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10 pm news was coming on . The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a large building preparing to jump. The blonde looked at Bob and said, "Do you think he'll jump?" Bob said, "You know, I bet he'll jump." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, "You're on!" Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob, saying, "Fair's fair. Here's your money." Bob replied, "I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the 6:00 pm news, so I knew he would jump." The blonde replied, "I did too, but didn't think he'd do it again." Bob took the money...


It's a long one, but it is well worth it.

A true Welcome Home to a HERO.

Killed in action the week before, the body of Sergeant First Class John C. Beale was returned to Falcon Field in Peachtree City, Georgia, just south of Atlanta, on June 11, 2009.

The Henry County Police Department escorted the procession to the funeral home in McDonough , Georgia

A simple notice in local papers indicated the road route to be taken and the approximate time.

Nowadays one can be led to believe that America no longer respects honor and no longer honors sacrifice outside the military. Be it known that there are many places in this land where people still recognize the courage and impact of total self-sacrifice. Georgia remains one of those graceful places. The link below is a short travelogue of that day's remarkable and painful journey. But only watch this if you wish to have some of your faith in people restored.

Please share widely. Click below for the video. Turn up your speakers !!!

http://blip.tv/play/AYGJ5h6YgmE


A little girl went to her bedroom and pulled a glass jelly jar from its hiding place in the closet.
She poured the change out on the floor and counted it carefully. Three times, even the total had to be exactly perfect. No chance here for mistakes.
Carefully placing the coins back in the jar and twisting on the cap, she slipped out the back door and made her way 6 blocks to Rexall's Drug Store with the big red Indian Chief sign above the door.

She waited patiently for the pharmacist to give her some attention, but he was too busy at this moment. Tess twisted her feet to make a scuffing noise. Nothing. She cleared her throat with the most disgusting sound she could muster. No good. Finally she took a quarter from her jar and banged it on the glass counter. That did it!
'And what do you want?' the pharmacist asked in an annoyed tone of voice. I'm talking to my brother from Chicago whom I haven't seen in ages,' he said without waiting for a reply to his question.
'Well, I want to talk to you about my brother,' Tess answered back in the same annoyed tone. 'He's really, really sick. ..and I want to buy a miracle.'
'I beg your pardon?' said the pharmacist.
'His name is Andrew and he has something bad growing inside his head and my Daddy says only a miracle can save him now. So how much does a miracle cost?'
'We don't sell miracles here, little girl. I'm sorry but I can't help you,' the pharmacist said, softening a little.
'Listen, I have the money to pay for it. If it isn't enough, I will get the rest. Just tell me how much it costs.'

The pharmacist's brother was a well dressed man. He stooped down and asked the little girl, 'What kind of a miracle does your brother need?'
' I don't know,' Tess replied with her eyes welling up. I just know he's really sick and Mommy says he needs an operation. But my Daddy can't pay for it, so I want to use my money.
'How much do you have?' asked the man from Chicago
'One dollar and eleven cents,' Tess answered barely audibly.
'And it's all the money I have, but I can get some more if I need to.'
'Well, what a coincidence,' smiled the man. 'A dollar and eleven cents---the exact price of a miracle for little brothers. '
He took her money in one hand and with the other hand he grasped her mitten and said 'Take me to where you live I want to see your brother and meet your parents. Let's see if I have the miracle you need.'
That well dressed man was Dr. Carlton Armstrong, a surgeon, specializing in neuro-surgery. The operation was completed free of charge and it wasn't long until Andrew was home again and doing well.

Mom and Dad were happily talking about the chain of events that had led them to this place.
'That surgery,' her Mom whispered. 'was a real miracle. I wonder how much it would have cost?'
Tess smiled. She knew exactly how much a miracle cost..one dollar and eleven cents....plus the faith of a little child.

In our lives, we never know how many miracles we will need. A miracle is not the suspension of natural law, but the operation of a higher law.

I know you'll keep the ball moving! Here it goes. Throw it back to someone who means something to you!

A ball is a circle, no beginning, no end. It keeps us together like our Circle of Friends. But the treasure inside for you to see is the treasure of friendship you've granted to me.
Today I pass the friendship ball to you. Pass it on to someone who is a friend to you.

MY OATH TO YOU...

When you are sad.....I will dry your tears.

When you are scared.....I will comfort your fears.

When you are worried.....I will give you hope.

When you are confused......I will help you cope.

And when you are lost..And can't see the light, I shall be your beacon....Shining ever so bright.

This is my oath.....I pledge till the end.

Why you may ask?......Because you're my friend.

Signed: GOD


You Might Be a Redneck...a different take

We have enjoyed the redneck jokes for years. It's time to take a reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that values home, family, country and God. If I had to stand before a dozen terrorists who threaten my life, I'd choose a half dozen or so rednecks to back me up. Tire irons, squirrel guns and grit -- that's what rednecks are made of. I hope I am one of those. If you feel the same, pass this on to your redneck friends or anyone who shares these views. Ya'll know who ya’ll are.

You might be a redneck if: It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, 'One nation, under God.'
You might be a redneck if: You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.
You might be a redneck if: You still say ' Christmas' instead of 'Winter Festival.'
You might be a redneck if: You bow your head when someone prays.
You might be a redneck if: You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.
You might be a redneck if: You treat our armed forces veterans with great respect, and always have.
You might be a redneck if: You've never burned an American flag, nor intend to.
You might be a redneck if: You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.
You might be a redneck if: You respect your elders and raised your kids to do the same.
You might be a redneck if: You'd give your last dollar to a friend.
If you got this email from me, it is because I believe that you, like me, have just enough Red Neck in you to have the same beliefs as those talked about in this email.
God Bless the USA !
Keep the fire burning, redneck friend.
IF YOU DON'T STAND BEHIND OUR TROOPS FEEL FREE TO STAND IN FRONT OF THEM .
IN GOD WE TRUST


RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship
She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas ..
3. I take my wife everywhere....
but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!"
So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
The driver said, "No, jump in!"
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months
I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"
Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it........these were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun.
And he always ended his programs with the words, "God Bless."


Woodsnews